For Parents Fearful Of Their Teens’ Social Media Use, Here’s Some Hope — And Advice

If you person a teen girl, chances are she’s spending hours online each time — and you’re astir apt spending astatine slightest arsenic galore hours worrying astir her information there.

We’ve known for immoderate clip that societal media tin beryllium detrimental to anyone’s intelligence health, and peculiarly that of teen girls. Meta, the institution that owns Instagram and Facebook, earned the distrust of galore parents successful the autumn of 2021 erstwhile a Wall Street Journal investigation revealed that the company’s ain probe linked Instagram usage with girls’ disordered eating, assemblage representation issues, slump and suicidal thoughts.

New research from Common Sense Media shows that teen girls themselves are good alert their societal media usage tin beryllium a problem. The survey included responses from implicit 1,300 girls ages 11 to 15, with questions astir YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and messaging apps specified iMessage, GroupMe and WhatsApp.

The results of the survey corroborate “that we are successful the mediate of a younker intelligence wellness situation successful the United States,” James Steyer, laminitis and CEO of Common Sense Media, told HuffPost.

“Social media platforms person a immense relation successful that younker intelligence wellness crisis, peculiarly for teen girls,” helium said.

A afloat 98% of the girls surveyed had utilized 1 oregon much societal media platforms. The astir wide utilized were YouTube (85%), TikTok (73%), Instagram (59%) and Snapchat (57%).

Girls reported spending much than 2 hours each time utilizing immoderate of the astir fashionable apps. TikTok ranked highest, with users reporting an mean of 2 hours and 39 minutes of regular use, and YouTube was a adjacent second, astatine 2 hours and 33 minutes per day. A miss utilizing aggregate apps could easy walk a full of 8 hours oregon much connected societal media each day.

When asked whether the wide interaction of these apps connected radical their property was affirmative oregon negative, the girls were split, and determination were important differences among apps.

The level they rated astir highly was YouTube, with 65% saying they thought it had a mostly affirmative effect, 5% saying it had a mostly antagonistic effect and 30% saying its effects were neutral.

In comparison, 43% said TikTok had a mostly affirmative effect, and 26% said its interaction was mostly negative. Forty-five percent of TikTok users said they felt “addicted” to it oregon utilized it much than they intended connected astatine slightest a play basis. Thirty-seven percent reported the aforesaid feeling of “addiction” to Snapchat, on with 34% for YouTube and 33% for Instagram.

Critically, the study recovered that each girls bash not carnivore this antagonistic load equally. Those who are already struggling with their intelligence wellness look to beryllium astir vulnerable.

Girls who reported experiencing mean to terrible depressive symptoms were much apt than others to accidental that societal media platforms made beingness worse wide for radical their age. A troubling bulk of these girls — 75% connected Instagram and 69% connected TikTok — said they brushwood suicide-related contented astatine slightest monthly.

Parents of a depressed kid mightiness wonder, then, if keeping their kid distant from societal media would beryllium helpful. But it seems that successful immoderate cases, societal media tin beryllium a affirmative unit successful girls’ lives. Of the girls with mean to terrible depressive symptoms, an adjacent larger bulk — 80% connected Instagram and 78% connected TikTok — reported coming crossed adjuvant intelligence wellness resources connected those platforms.

Girls who reported mild depressive symptoms were much apt than those without depressive symptoms to accidental their lives would beryllium worse without YouTube, TikTok, Snapchat oregon messaging apps. (This inclination did not clasp existent for Instagram.)

Almost fractional of the girls of colour successful the survey said they encountered racist contented astatine slightest monthly connected TikTok oregon Instagram (48% for some platforms). However, 71% for TikTok and 72% for Instagram said they recovered positive, affirming contented related to contention astatine slightest monthly.

Girls who identified arsenic LGBTQ+ were astir doubly arsenic apt arsenic those who didn’t to brushwood hatred code related to sexuality oregon sex identity. At the aforesaid time, LGBTQ+ younker were much apt than their peers to study that they often link with others who stock their interests oregon identities connected societal media, and they reported having much of these kinds of connections online than successful existent life.

Dr. Michael Rich, a pediatrician who runs the Digital Wellness Lab astatine Boston Children’s Hospital, told HuffPost he’s seen different surveys that showed the aforesaid spectrum of experiences.

Not lone are determination important numbers of kids reporting that societal media is some a affirmative and a antagonistic force, but kids besides accidental that their ain experiences connected societal media are a premix of bully and bad.

“This is precise individual-specific to the quality of the young idiosyncratic who’s utilizing it and to their ain social-emotional presumption astatine that constituent successful time,” Rich said. “If they are feeling down connected themselves, they’re going to spell to societal media and prime retired each the things that everybody other is amended astatine than they are.”

Parents person a work to “help their kids larn to usage these precise almighty tools successful effectual ways,” Rich said.

Steyer contends that companies, too, person a work to rein successful immoderate of the much troublesome plan features of societal media apps, specified arsenic determination settings, nationalist accounts, backstage messaging, filters and endless scrolling.

But features that tin origin problems besides person uses, and adjacent upsides. A nationalist relationship tin invitation the attraction of strangers, but immoderate of them mightiness beryllium different kids looking to link with idiosyncratic who shares their LGBTQ+ identity, for example.

Where does each this permission parents? How are we expected to sift done the assorted affirmative and antagonistic possibilities contained successful our kids’ smartphones and fig retired what people of enactment is best? It tin consciousness hopelessly complex, and acold from our control.

But Rich believes solutions are wrong reach. Any affirmative enactment we are already doing arsenic parents to physique beardown relationships with unfastened and honorable connection volition person a protective effect for our kids erstwhile they’re online.

The champion instrumentality parents person to combat the threats associated with societal media, Rich says, is astir arsenic low-tech arsenic it gets: your eating country table.

If your kids are comfy talking to you astir what’s going connected successful their lives, some successful idiosyncratic and online, you’re successful a presumption to assistance usher them, and they are much apt to travel to you for help.

Here are immoderate things to support successful caput arsenic you navigate the satellite of societal media with your children.

Speak openly astir intelligence wellness and societal media use

If you privation to assistance your kids erstwhile they’re struggling, you person to person a consciousness of wherever they are emotionally successful their day-to-day lives. Ask however they’re doing successful a mode that is unfastened and nonjudgmental. Make it wide that you’re funny successful proceeding what’s truly going on, and don’t belittle their concerns.

You tin besides talk frankly astir your ain intelligence health, noting times erstwhile you mightiness beryllium struggling with thing and talking openly astir wherever you question assistance successful those situations.

Be arsenic forthcoming astir your ain societal media usage and funny astir theirs. Talk astir however seeing definite posts makes you feel, and inquire them what they deliberation of the videos they’re watching. Are they funny successful the creators’ wit and creativity? Or are they commenting archetypal connected the mode their bodies look? This is cardinal accusation for you to person successful bid to attraction for your child.

Make decisions astir exertion based connected your idiosyncratic child’s needs

You won’t beryllium capable to support societal media retired of their lives forever, but you bash get to determine erstwhile to get your kid their archetypal phone. The amended you cognize your child, the amended a presumption you’ll beryllium successful to see their maturity and intelligence wellness and marque the prime that champion suits your family.

There are besides immoderate originative solutions.

“With the realization that 99% of what’s connected a smartphone is distraction,” said Rich, “[some] radical are getting escaped of smartphones for kids and giving them flip phones.”

If your kid is struggling emotionally, it whitethorn marque consciousness to bounds their vulnerability to societal media. Ideally, you would travel up with a program unneurotic to assistance them enactment good and consciousness safe, and revise this program regularly based connected however they are doing emotionally.

For immoderate kids, having connections to peers, particularly those with whom they stock identities, whitethorn beryllium peculiarly important during unsmooth times.

Don’t beryllium lulled into a mendacious consciousness of information by parental controls

It’s imaginable to acceptable parental controls that volition bounds (some) vulnerability to inappropriate worldly similar pornography. This is astir apt worthy doing, but don’t kid yourself into reasoning that your occupation is done there. Our kids are integer natives and tin fig retired a mode astir beauteous overmuch immoderate power mounting erstwhile they enactment their minds to it.

You tin besides marque agreements with your kids astir which apps they tin use, oregon importune connected having entree to each of their societal media accounts. These whitethorn adjacent beryllium portion of a declaration that you gully up and sermon with them erstwhile they get their archetypal phone.

It’s important to person a treatment astir the benefits and drawbacks of idiosyncratic apps, but retrieve that it won’t instrumentality overmuch for your kid to entree immoderate platforms they privation to without you knowing. They whitethorn delete an app truthful it doesn’t look connected their location screen, but past entree it done their web browser. And it’s communal for kids to marque aggregate societal media profiles — 1 to stock with you and 1 for their friends, for example.

Make screen-free household clip a ritual successful your home

By utilizing the household settings, you tin bounds the fig of hours kids person each time to usage their phones. But an adjacent amended mode to bounds surface clip is to get kids engaged successful activities that aren’t online.

A bonus of doing activities together, similar household dinners, walks and crippled nights, is having an accidental to link with them.

While teens often enactment similar they don’t privation to speech to us, that’s usually not the case, Rich said.

When helium is with a young diligent and the genitor leaves the exam room, helium volition often ask: “What tin your parents bash better?”

“Almost ever the archetypal happening retired of their mouths is ‘Pay much attraction to me. Listen to me,’” helium said. “So I impulse parents, erstwhile you inquire ― ‘What did you bash today?’ ‘Nothing.’ ‘How was it?’ ‘OK.’ — support asking. Show your interest, thing volition travel out.”

Keep their phones retired of their bedrooms astatine night

Another downside of our phones, for users of each ages, is however overmuch they interfere with our sleep. A “quick check” of societal media tin easy crook into an hr of scrolling, careless of your maturity level.

“I spot tons of kids for whom slumber is simply a occupation arsenic a effect [of societal media],” said Rich.

One solution immoderate families usage is to support chargers successful the surviving room, truthful each household subordinate has to deposit their devices determination earlier they caput to bed. We’re each utilized to utilizing our phones arsenic alarms, but old-fashioned alarm clocks enactment conscionable arsenic well.

Another vantage of keeping a kid’s telephone retired of their country is that they’ll beryllium little apt to look for the benignant of worldly you’d similar them to enactment distant from erstwhile others are around.

Warn them astir circumstantial dangers they whitethorn encounter

It’s awkward to archer your kid that they volition beryllium approached by radical who whitethorn inquire them to nonstop a nude photo. But, Rich points out, “if that speech is excessively uncomfortable for the genitor to person with the child, the kid astir apt shouldn’t person the instrumentality oregon the platform.”

An alarming percent of girls who took the Common Sense Media survey ― 58% connected Instagram, 57% connected Snapchat and 46% connected TikTok ― reported being contacted by a alien online successful a mode that made them “uncomfortable.”

You’ll request to hole your kid for this likelihood, and speech astir protections you tin enactment successful place, specified arsenic blocking unsolicited interaction and making accounts private.

Finally, marque definite your kid knows that if they bash brushwood information online, the archetypal happening they should bash is travel to you. They request to cognize that you worth their information supra all.

The FBI issued a warning successful February astir sextortion cases involving kids, immoderate of which resulted successful kids dying by suicide. In specified cases, a stranger, often utilizing an relationship successful different country, asks a kid (usually a boy) to nonstop explicit images of themselves. Once the images person been received, the alien threatens to stock them unless the kid sends payment.

“It’s benignant of similar erstwhile you nonstop your kid driving disconnected to a party,” Rich said. “You say, ‘Look, if you portion immoderate intoxicant oregon bash immoderate drugs, I privation you to telephone maine and person maine prime you up. I bash not privation you driving. And, yes, I’d alternatively you not bash it, but I would alternatively you beryllium alive.’”

While determination is overmuch to fearfulness online, determination is besides overmuch to beryllium gained. Kids tin physique authentic relationships with peers from each implicit the world, and research their identities and interests with unprecedented freedom.

“As a pediatrician, 1 of the occupational hazards is that I’m an optimist,” Rich said. “And I judge that if we tin commencement to larn to usage societal media successful authentic, existent ways, that it tin beryllium an instrumentality of peace, past it tin beryllium kids astir the satellite who link with each different connected their commonalities and are little prone to beryllium taught to hatred idiosyncratic for their differences.”